I don't claim to have all the answers- or even most of them. I've only been at this parenting thing for two years, so I only have a small scope to draw from. However, I have received some really great advice along the way from those who have been doing this a lot longer and quite successfully. Here are some of my favorite pieces of advice I've received regarding parenting in the early years:

 "In those first few months, you're really just buying for time."
This has been true with both of mine. There will be a period of time after you bring home your precious, wiggly, sleepy little newborn angel where you will think "Why can't I do this right?!" Maybe your baby is having eating problems, or digestion problems, or can't sleep and needs to be held ALL the time, or maybe he/she started teething at three months (ahem. My babes) and you just want to make it all better for them. But sometimes you just can't. There are things that happen in those first months of development that every baby goes through that are necessary for healthy growth, and sometimes those things are uncomfortable for your child. You sit and watch him day after day and you feel so helpless and alone as if this is a unique problem to your baby, but trust me when I tell you that every single baby has these sorts of problems in the first few months. It's called growing. Now, that's not to say that you shouldn't be vigilant over your child's issues and be in close communication with his/ her pediatrician regarding them, but sometimes, you just have to wait it out.  He'll figure out the latch. Her little tummy will learn what it feels like to digest real food. He WILL sleep. It's biologically impossible for that baby not to sleep. It will happen. And those teeth will pop through. You're mostly just buying for time.

Around six months, both of mine started to level out. They learned to become more independent and their little tummies started to figure out this digestion thing. We got to a point where we were finally in a routine instead of just surviving day to day. It will happen. Hang in there.

"The secret to enjoying your children is to surrender yourself to the chaos."
Man, this one is hard for me. I don't like chaos. I don't like feeling out of control. I like order and routine. I thrive on it. But having two babies under the age of two doesn't allow for much predictability. None of our days are the same. I keep us to a schedule as best I can, but most days, that schedule gets thrown out the window by mid-morning. My notebook is full of To Do lists that aren't done. My living room has been taken over by toys and baby items, and I've just accepted that our couch will never smell the same way ever again. Having a baby changes everything. I'm sure you've heard that before, but think about it. Every single thing... the way you eat. The way you drive. The way you think. The way you walk across the floor and close doors and listen to the tv (just quietly enough to allow the baby to continue sleeping during nap time). And sometimes taking even the quietest of steps isn't enough to make that baby take her full nap. She'll wake up crying for you after only half an hour and you know what? You'll adjust. Because the truth is that you don't really have an option. It's pure chaos most of the time. Beautiful, messy, infuriating, wonderful chaos and you're helpless to stop it. So just surrender yourself to it.

"Do what works."
This was a big one for us when Vesper came along. She was our first baby and I had lots of preconceived notions about what I was and was not going to allow/ do. For instance- of COURSE I was going to breastfeed for a full year. (Nope. Made it about six weeks.) And no way in hell was I going to let my child create a soothe-crutch for herself out of a pacifier. (At nearly two years old, she sleeps with one at bedtime.) I obviously I would never plop my kid down in front of the television just so I could get something done/ have a minute to myself (A woman has to cook/ pee/ keep her sanity, okay?). And never will I ever allow her to contribute to childhood obesity by chowing down on McDonald's chicken mcnuggets (I think we all know where this is headed...)

So here's the thing, if you have a plan in place for your baby that doesn't go the way you want, and you end up completely chucking it and giving in and just GIVING HER THE FREAKING PACIFIER OMG GO TO SLEEP you're not a quitter or a failure. You're adapting. You're doing what works for you and your family.

Also, and this is very important, if you see another mom doing it differently, keep your thoughts to yourself unless that mom asks for your advice.
  
"Take lots of pictures. Look at them after they've gone to sleep."
Everybody takes way too many pictures of their kids. But the key part of this phrase is the latter: look at them after they've gone to sleep. In reality, it's probably the only time you'll have to look at them, but there's something about seeing those photos of their sweet faces and knowing that they're sleeping like little cherubs in the next room that just melts your heart. Even if all your photos are of the epic tantrum that your daughter threw in the middle of the store earlier today, you'll look at the picture and giggle and be able to think clearly. You'll let out a deep sigh of relief that you survived the day, give yourself a pat on the back and make yourself a promise to do better tomorrow.

"You are doing holy work."
It doesn't feel that way does it? Because it's only 9 a.m. and I've already cleaned up spit up three times, wiped poopy bottoms, disciplined a child for hitting her brother, picked up the crayons (again), fed breakfast to both babies, refilled sippee cups, done two loads of laundry, and consoled Vesper every single time a commercial came on during her show (kids these days...) I don't feel holy or appreciated or useful or anything at all right now except tired and frustrated. But I remember that this thing I'm doing every single day- this repetition of motions that we fall into and call "motherhood"- this is a calling. It's not a job or a "position" or a career. We wake up every day and as soon as our feet hit the floor we're on the clock. And we stay that way until after every child has gone to bed, and usually long after. Sometimes it's tedious and exhausting but it's splashed with these beautiful moments that only mothers get to experience. In between reminding your toddler to be quiet because the baby is sleeping and applying teething gel to your son's swollen gums and saying "No!" over and over, there are these insanely cathartic instances that you will remember forever. We're all short on sleep and patience and time and we rarely feel ahead of the curve. Sometimes we feel undervalued and completely alone, but hope can be found in remembering that our work is from God.

We've got a full weekend of packing ahead of us, so I'll say good bye for now! Have a lovely weekend!
xo,
Chelsea

Stairs.

Oh hey. We bought a new house. NBD.

We haven't actually closed yet, so this is the only photo of the exterior that I have currently. I'll share the interior photos in an upcoming post so that you can see the "befores" in all their late-60s glory!

She's close to twice the size of our current place, but needs a whole lotta love! Mostly just paint and a few fixtures here and there, so we're super- SUPER- pumped to get in there and get started! PLUS: stairs. STAIRS. Guys. What is it about stairs that make you feel like you live in a real-live grown-up house? I don't know. But soon, I will be a real-live grown-up (snicker).

Basic stats:
4 bedrooms
3 bathrooms
2 living areas
1 dining area
TONS of closet and built-in storage
what am I forgetting?.... OH yeah and a dressing room/ walk-in closet for me. (I can't even...)

The updates will probably go quite a bit slower this time around, as our two babies aren't much with a hammer and nails yet, but I plan to keep up with all the changes here on the blog! I hope you'll follow along!

xo,
Chels

Psalm 106 and Allergy-ridden Babies

It's definitely allergy season in the Ahlgrim Haus. We're a snotty, sneezy, wheezy bunch these days. It's an indicator of the changing of the seasons and it happens every year. Vesper has a constant stream of light green goo running over her lips, and I feel like my head has been stuffed full of grass and pollen and crud. Grey seems to have inherited the awesome allergy gene as well. It has made for sleepy, often fussy babies. I felt exhausted all day every day this week until I laid down in bed at night, and then I couldn't turn my brain off and go to sleep! In fact, it has really made the past week incredibly difficult. We're all feeling off our game, and so we're all getting a bit short with each other (Okay, full disclosure, I'm the adult in the situation and it's very possible that *I* am the one getting short with them... ). I have been so frustrated from dealing with sick babies and lack of sleep that I haven't been able to see past my own exhaustion.

They haven't been sleeping past 6:30 a.m. and they've both been shortening their naps, so today, when Grey started fussing himself awake at 6:30 a.m. - hacking and snotting in his crib in the next room- I was less than thrilled. But then 7 a.m. rolled around and Vesper was still asleep, so I took advantage of the alone time with my little guy. I fed him his jar of food slowly and talked to him during his breakfast rather than rushing through it, shoving spoonfuls in his mouth while shouting "Vesper, no. Take that out of your mouth. That can electrocute you!"

He seemed to be enjoying the extra Mommy-time, so I pulled out my phone, opened up my Bible app, and read to him. I've been reading the Psalms and today was Psalm 106. At verse 19 I stopped, puzzled. It talks about God's people forgetting His goodness and choosing to build a idol image of a calf to worship instead. I said to Grey, "Isn't that silly?" I mean, who would do that? God had delivered them from Egypt. They had seen his wrath and his goodness in very extreme ways. There was absolutely no denying that God was... well... God. The Almighty. And yet, "they exchanged the glory of God for the image of an ox that eats grass," (v. 20). How could they be so stupid?

And then it struck me: I choose other things over God every single day.

I choose worry. I choose pride. I choose frustration and sarcasm. I choose to withdraw rather than deal with a problem. And I choose anger because you know what? Sometimes it just feels easier to be angry about a situation rather than change my perspective. My idols aren't made of metal, they're made of emotions and thoughts.

But here's the great part: God has grace on me even when I choose anger, worry, guilt, sadness, frustration, and sarcasm. He shows me unconditional love at all times. He waits for me. He gently pulls me out the pit that I've dug myself into.

So today, I'm trying my hardest to just let go and trust God in dealing with my kids and my house and my husband. Even though I'm tired and frustrated and short on sleep and patience- I'm choosing to just trust Him.

An Afternoon with Vesper

This weekend I got to spend some time alone with my Birdy girl. Ever since her little brother came along, she's been a champ at taking everything in stride and being patient with the fact that my time is now divided- and somewhat unevenly since Grey requires quite a bit more attention and assistance than she does. I'm not saying she doesn't have fits occasionally, but she never had an jealousy issues, and has really taken to Grey. In fact, she has grown into quite the little helper.

This week, Grey hit a strange growth spurt and has been teething so he needed me a lot. I felt like I was constantly telling Vesper "no." "NO we can't go to the park. It's almost time for your brother to eat... again..." and "No, don't play the drums! Your brother is finally napping!" and of course "No. I absolutely cannot play Ring-Around-The-Rosey while I'm holding your fussy brother." Vesper is so smart, and pretty advanced for her age, so sometimes I forget that she's not even 2 years old yet. She has limits and needs that are much more strict that I tend to remember sometimes. She's in between that baby and toddler stage, and sometimes she just needs her mommy. She's a good kid, and I want her to be able to hear "yes" from me as much as possible, so we took the afternoon for some girl time.

We went shopping, got a fancy, nutritious dinner (Happy Meals with chocolate milk are always a hit), and played at the park. She got to ask me alllll the questions she wanted and I answered every. single. one. of them. ("who is that? who is that??" "I don't know honey. We don't know him." "Hiiiieeee!!!" *waves her little hand profusely to the aforementioned stranger* and "Did you hear it??" every time we hear a car, motorcycle, airplane, bird, squeaking wheel, cicada, etc etc) I got extra hugs and lots of hand holding and made sure to make lots of contact with those big, beautiful, blue eyes.

It was so awesome to be able to focus on just one little person at a time. My little girl is flying toward her second birthday- and then flying towards being a teenager, then moving out of my house forever. Okay, maybe I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, but still- the point is that in reality, we have such a short time with our kids. I want to take hold of every opportunity that I can to spend time with them one-on-one, face to face, and really pour into them.

Today it was fast food and swings at the park. Maybe tomorrow it'll be pedicures and sodas to celebrate making the cheerleading squad. And then late night hot chocolate after her recent break up. And someday we'll be sharing a glass of wine, as her babies sleep in the next room. Again, getting ahead of myself, I know. I'm just so thankful for her. I'm thankful that she exists to make the world brighter. And I'm thankful that God thinks me worthy to be her mother. I mean, our little afternoon was for her, but really, I think it was for me too...

xo,
Chels

Six. Months. Old.

Happy Half Birthday, Baby Bear! Here are the things I want to remember about your sixth month:

-You're most comfortable in 9-12 month clothing
-You're officially eating solids regularly (at breakfast and dinner time). It makes for colorful spit-up...
-Still sleeping through the night like a champ!
-Teething like crazy, but nothing new has popped through!
-You want to crawl SO badly, so we're working on sitting up
-Your favorite toys are your bouncer and the chew beads necklaces from Gramma
-You are simply the HAPPIEST baby I've ever met in my entire life. Your gummy smile just melts my heart!
-You've become much more independent this month and your favorite way to pass the time is just to roll across the living room floor and back, bumping into furniture, toys, and dogs.
-Still suffering from reflux pretty badly
-Your hair is getting more and more blonde!
-You're making the transition to 3 naps a day and napping longer than 45 minutes at a time!
-Those eyes are looking more blue this month
-You had your first overnight without Mommy and you and Daddy both survived!
-Everything goes in your mouth. Everything.
-You love to watch Lucy and get kisses from her!
-You went to your first OU Sooners game and sometimes the crowd was so loud that it made you cry! Poor little guy...

We love you more and more every day! Keep growing, little guy!
xo, Mom

Sleep Training the Ahlgrim Clan

We've been blessed with two really good sleepers! Our kiddos are both under the age of two and both have done exceptionally well with sleeping through the night- but that didn't necessarily come without a bit of encouragement. I get lots of questions from other moms about when our kids started sleeping through the night, and how we got them to do that. So in an effort to have a single location to direct these friends to, I've decided to just write it out here.

PLEASE NOTE: This is NOT a how to guide. I am not a doctor nor an infant sleep expert of any kind. This is just our story, and what worked for us. We used a modified cry-it-out method at the recommendation of our pediatrician. Different things work for different families and while I respect the opinions and methods of others, I do not wish to start a conversation or debate here. I do welcome any questions you might have and would be happy to answer them!

Let's start with our oldest, Vesper. We can't take a whole lot of credit for this one. She started showing signs of wanting to sleep through the night and eliminate her late night feeding at six weeks, so we just followed her lead. She slept swaddled and used a pacifier. However, at around 4 months old, she began waking multiple times during the night when her pacifier would fall out of her mouth. Because she was swaddled, she had no way to retrieve the pacifier, and therefore, Mom and Dad were up and down all night long to shove it back in her mouth. 

At Vesper's 5 month appointment, her pediatrician recommended that we stop swaddling her as she was getting close to rolling over and getting a bit too big for the swaddle. He recommended a modified cry it out method. We were to establish a strict bed time and routine and stick to it at all costs for the first several weeks. It's worth mentioning that I truly believe this is the most important part of getting your child to recognize that it's time to go to sleep.

Our routine (for both children) went as follows: bath time, jammies and a fresh diaper, snuggles and some reading, then a bottle and some singing and rocking.

Because we expected she would cry, the plan after laying her down was this: let her cry for a pre-determined interval (this can be as short as 5 minutes, and as long as 15 at this age) and then go in and reassure her that we're still there i.e. pat her back, hold her hand, whisper softly, smooth her hair, etc but DO NOT pick her up. We would stay in the room for less than 2 minutes before leaving again, even if she was still crying. Again, this was a process about which we talked with her pediatrician before doing. We chose a 15 minute interval right away because we knew that seeing us every 5 minutes and then leaving again would only heighten her emotions.

It took her ONE night (30 minutes at initial bedtime, and 30 minutes at a 3 a.m. waking). The second night, she only fussed for about 15 minutes before falling asleep and sleeping all night. I was so shocked! Somehow, between being sick with ear infections all the time and night terrors, she worked the paci back into her bedtime routine, but she's only ever been allowed to have it at bedtime, so we're not too worried about it for now.

For Grey, however, it took a bit more convincing. Grey also slept swaddled with a pacifier from birth. At about 2 months, he was unable to sleep without that darn pacifier in his mouth. Every. Single. Time it fell out, he immediately started to fuss. Needless to say, he slept in his bassinet, right next to our bed for  quite a while. Around 4 months, we decided it was time to break him of the swaddle and the pacifier since it seemed to only be hindering his sleep rather than aiding. We did it cold turkey and used a similar CIO method with intervals. At this point he was still waking for one (or two) night feedings and taking a full bottle, so we didn't think he was quite capable of sleeping through the night. After we weaned him from the swaddle and pacifier, we kept his night feeding(s).

At his 5 month appointment, again, I asked the pediatrician about his sleep patterns and he recommended the same method. I explained that I was concerned that he wasn't ready because he was eating 3-4 ounces at each feeding during the day, as well as a full feeding or two in the middle of the night. The pediatrician explained that he would even out his feedings and that he was fully capable of sleeping through the night at that point, so we used the same method: establish a routine, put him down sleepy (but awake) and go in every 15 minutes if he was crying.

It took him a few hours the first night (I think off and on for about 3 hours at initial bed time, then about 45 minutes at his 3a.m. waking). But each night after that, he got a little bit better. It took him a full 6 nights before he would fall asleep in less than 10 minutes and sleep a full 12 hours, but he did it! And he seemed SO much happier and more rested during the day! Also, just as the pediatrician said, he evened out his feedings. He went from eating 3-4 oz at each feeding to eating 5-6 oz at each and sleeping through the night!

A couple of things worth noting: (1) our babies definitely didn't need a bath every single day at this age, but we gave them one every single night while we were sleep training in an effort to establish the routine. About a month after starting the training, we felt comfortable enough to stray from the routine and skip the bath or move bedtime up or down by a few minutes here and there. (2) Doing everything at the exact same time every night didn't seem to make as much difference as making sure that we did things in the same order (as long as bed time was within 15-30 minutes of the same time each night of course) (3) With both, in the beginning, we would rock and sing to them until they were very sleepy but still awake, then lay them down in the crib. Within a couple of months, Vesper decided she didn't want to be rocked anymore :( and within a couple of weeks, Grey didn't want to be rocked either! It was almost as if, because we had established such a solid routine, they knew what was coming, and they just wanted to get on with it! Time for sleep!

For nap times: Vesper was in daycare most of her first year, so they kind of did the work for us on this one. But for Grey, he took a 45 minute nap 1.5 hours after each feeding until he was about 6 months old. At this point, he's making the transition to 2 solid 1.5 hour naps and one short nap in between.  I had planned to used the same Modified CIO method, but didn't really need to. He seems to be making the transition naturally. For his longer naps, he usually wakes after 45 minutes, fusses for a couple of minutes, then drifts back to sleep.

I'll be sure to do an update to this post a few months from now as their sleep patterns develop and change, but for now, good luck! Let me know if you have any questions!

xo, Chels

The Makings of a Weekend: Social Media-Free Version

This was a beautiful weekend. Ryan and I decided to turn off our phones and refrain from any social media so that we could really pour into our kiddos and soak up some time with them. I think it paid off. In fact, I think we need to make it a regular thing.

Moments from this weekend that I don't want to forget:

1. Seeing my husband walk through the door at the end of a long day with beautiful, huge, pink lilies in his hands just for me.

2. Sneaking out for a nice, quiet walk just as the sun was edging over the horizon- just my baby boy and me. The only sounds were crickets, sprinklers, and my feet hitting the pavement to the rhythm of the stroller wheels. We walked to the park and soaked up some quiet time together. I read Psalms out loud to him and he just grinned at me. Then I held him as he drifted off to sleep, head rested on my shoulder, drooling like crazy.

3. Vesper singing "Jesus Loves Me" for the first time at the kitchen table

4. Ryan tickling Grey and getting the biggest belly laughs out of him!

5. Walking into our bedroom and finding Ryan and Grey sleeping face to face in our sun-drenched bed, blankets crushed and surrounding them like a nest

6. Standing in the dark of Vesper's room singing our usual nightly songs. This time it was a praise song and as I sang to her and balanced her on my hip with one hand, closing my eyes and raising my right hand in an act of worship. Opening my eyes & seeing Vesper- arms stretched high toward the sky, smiling her huge, sweet smile.

God is so good to give us even one day together in such a beautiful life... I hope yours was just as sweet.

xo,
Chels

A Grey, Grey Room

Styling Grey's nursery was pretty tricky. We had little to no budget and although we would be moving him into Vesper's room, we wanted something very different from the kitschy vintage-vibe of Vesper's nursery. In the end, we spent only $110 and that was just on the crib. Everything else came from shopping our own house!

We wanted a clean, modern take on Southwestern Cowboy. Even though we stuck with the more classic dresser and glider, I think we achieved the look we wanted- and well within our budget!

The Crib is the Sniglar Crib from Ikea. We could have painted it, but I really liked the modern look of the raw wood, so we left it alone. Ryan was very happy with this decision. The blanket is from a vintage shop, the shelves and rug are both from Target. 

One o fmy favorite elements in the entire room is the faux cow hide! I made this from craft paper and acrylic paint and then crushed it to make it look soft and worn. I absolutely lov ethe way it turned out! The dresser was previously used in Vesper's nursery, as well as the glider. Curtains were a DIY from sheets.

Another favorite is this vintage lamp/ planter that my mom found at an antique store. It's so unique!

The details always matter! An owl puppet from Ikea, desk lamp from Target, and vintage perfume bottle double as a totem pole.

More details- vintage drums from various antique stores and a couple of teddy bears from my husband's childhood.

The gallery wall was really fun to put together! The Rugged and Manly print was a baby shower gift, as was the Bible verse. I sketched the cactus, and the cattle hook was a birthday gift!

This blanket was made by Grey's Gramma (Ryan's mom). It's very special to us! I made the artwork, and the sweet little flannel arrows were a gift from friends.

I think he's pretty pleased with it! I hope you enjoyed a little peek at Grey's room!

xo,

Chels

Must-Have Baby Items- Five Months

Five Months in! It's time for a list of my favorite baby items! These are the top three items that I use AT LEAST daily (usually multiple times)!

Seven Sling
First up, my Seven Sling. My mother got this for me from a consignment shop when Vesper was about six months old, and I've raved about it ever since. It's the simplest design (there are several DIY tutorials online and I've even made one for a friend, but I have to say, the originals are worth their weight in gold!) and it's not hot and heavy like a moby, or copious and complicated like an Ergo or simliar carrier. It's just a simple cotton sling and the babies love it! This is currently the easiest way to get Grey to fall asleep, and I take it EVERYWHERE just in case my kid needs to Koala me! (p,s. can we all laugh at how GORGEOUS the "mom models" are on this website?!)

Chew Beads
Next, a new favorite, my Chew Beads necklace! These necklaces are completely safe for baby to chomp, and they're totally cute! I have the Emerald Green Perry necklace. I like the Perry design because of the variation in the bead shape. The rubber doesn't show teeth marks, the beads are linked together with a knotted ribbon, and the clasp is a snap so there's hardly a chance that it might break! I put it on and picked up Grey and he immediately grabbed it and shoved it in his mouth and it stayed there for a long time! Vesper even chews on it now that her two-year molars are coming in! I love it so much, I'm grabbing a second color. This just might be my new go-to baby shower gift!

Dr. Brown's Bottles
Our little guy suffers from some bad reflux and gas, and when people initially suggested that we switch bottles, I refused. I figured that a different bottle couldn't possibly make that much of a difference, especially when we were using good quality Nuk bottles that we had used with our first baby (who also suffered from reflux). But when we switched to Dr. Brown's wide-neck bottles, it made a definite, noticeable difference in his gas! If you have a baby who suffers  from gas, excessive spit-up, and reflux, I highly recommend these bottles!

We also still love our Burt's Bees Baby Bee Diaper Ointment,  the Fisher Price Rock n Play bassinet (even though he sleeps in his crib now), and my Jo Totes Camera Bag which I use as a baby bag! I hope this was a helpful list for someone out there in the world!
xo,
Chels

Five. Months. Old.

My little Baby Bear... Five months already? And I'm so hopelessly in love with you! I can't even imagine how much more joy you will bring to us in the coming months and years! Here are a few things I want to remember about your fifth month:

-You are in the 85th- EIGHTY FIFTH- percentile for weight and weigh as much as your sister did when she was SEVEN months old! You're 18 pounds of absolute love!
-You gave up your pacifier over a month ago
-You started sleeping through the night (in your crib!), cut your first two teeth, and started rolling over from back to front all in the same week! We're still working on rolling from front to back
-Momma is your favorite person in the whole world and you can't stand watching me walk away! You spend most of your day attached to my side. We call you the little Koala Bear. You grasp onto my shirt or my hair and just hang out.
-You're still suffering from pretty severe reflux and you are still on your special formula to help with a milk protein allergy
-You are SO. LOUD. I'm not kidding. You're the loudest baby I've ever heard...
-You have the best belly laugh when Daddy tickles you with his beard!
-You're a moody little guy! Very sensitive, and you have the most intense pout face!
-RED hair!
-You still can't go a whole three hours without eating!
-You hate your car seat
-You always want to be moving!
-Eyes aren't quite blue- sort of muddy hazel blue
-You smile all the time. It's the greatest thing in the whole world!

We love you, Baby Bear. I can't wait to see what milestones you'll reach before month 6!